May 2013
1 post
4 tags
What happens when you append the words "Charlie...
The answer is, “Some of the best moments in television history that never happened.
Allah Had No Son, Charlie Brown
Are Roman Catholics Christians, Charlie Brown?
Back From The Dead, Charlie Brown?
Creator or Liar, Charlie Brown?
Going Down, Charlie Brown?
Gomez is Coming, Charlie Brown
How To Get Rich, Charlie Brown
It’s Your Life, Charlie Brown!
This Was Your Life, Charlie...
February 2013
2 posts
Recently uncovered transcript of a conversation...
jawsforjesus: GREY COME OUT HERE QUESTION
PUT DOWN THE JERK LOTION YOUR FRIENDS NEED YOU
JERK JERK JERK
Grey: i hate you
jawsforjesus: MMRF UMF SPURRRTTT GAW JEEZ ALL OVER MY SLACKS
I CAN'T GO TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER'S MEETING WITH PROTEIN STAINS ON MY DRESS SLACKS
STUPID IDIOT CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO CHANGE INTO MY JERKIN' PANTS BEFOREHAND????? GOD WHAT A WASTE I AM
Grey: how do i block this
google
help me
jawsforjesus: AW FER CHRISTMAS' SAKE I THINK I GOT A VIRUS ON MY LATEST PORN SAFARI. COULD THIS WEDNESDAY GET ANY WORSE???????
WAS bbw_riding_sybian_explosive.mpg WORTH NOT BEING ABLE TO GET TO MY HOMEPAGE FOR????
ANSWER - NO, IT WAS NOT NEARLY AS *EXPLOSIVE* AS ADVERTISED
MORE LIKE bbw_riding_sybian_mildly_amused.mpg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LAST TIME I TRUST YOU, INTERRACIALTUBE.NET!!!!!
THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I TRIED SHEMALE PORN AND ACCIDENTALLY SENT A WORM TO MY WHOLE CONTACTS LIST!!!
LESSON LEARNED; NEVER JERK IT STONED!
GAWD WHAT A NIGHT THAT WAS. I HADN'T SMOKED SINCE COLLEGE BUT TED INVITED HIS WEIRD COWORKER OVER FOR THANKSGIVING AND *WELP* OUT POPPED A JOINT AND "OH SURE I MEAN I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING BUT WHAT THE HEY HEHEHEH YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE"
Grey: .....
jawsforjesus: TWO GULPS OF JOHNNY JAY-SMOKE LATER AND I WAS "UH SEE YOU AROUND GUYS" AND BACK HOME TO RUB MYSELF RAW
January 2013
5 posts
1 tag
There’s a guy I know from middle school who just posted an Instagram of his handgun permit to Facebook. A few days after Columbine, on the bus ride to school, this same guy made a point of loudly asking me if was carrying a gun in my backpack.
Why am I even friends with this prick in the first place
I can’t believe the period in my life when I would get together with my friends and play Goldeneye 64 with big head mode and paintball cheats on and the period in my life when I started smoking weed didn’t overlap
December 2012
10 posts
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Help Save Backspace! →
fuckyeahportland:
mama-and-lo:
So I know that it may not hold a lot of meaning to you, but Backspace is a Portland All-Ages Coffee Shop/Venue/Internet cafe, and they have recently been told by their landlord that if they don’t have $10,000 by the first of January that they need to basically GTFO. Backspace is not just a venue, though, it’s a pivotal part of the local community, I have numerous...
7 tags
November 2012
18 posts
GHOST-MODERNISM: I’M VENTING MY PERSONAL BEEFS IN... →
ghostorballoons:
I’M VENTING MY PERSONAL BEEFS IN RAW UNTRAMMELED POEMS.
I’M PRACTICING STARTLING RHETORICAL KARATE MOVES IN THE OPEN AIR OF THE CONTEMPORARY.
MAKING HORRIBLE SOUND EFFECTS. NO I”M NOT. YES I AM. no i’m not
THE HEADS OF THE TOWN ALL BAFFLED AND SILENCED BY MY POWERFUL PDF’S AND FEEBLE LITTLE…
I’m honor-bound to reblog anything Chris types in all-caps.
6 tags
That last LPJ story was TRUE!!!!! →
A little bit of Google-sleuthing has revealed that two kids did in fact die when their boat went over Niagara Falls in June 1913.
Niagara Falls, NY Two Youths Drown, June 1913
NIAGARA RAPIDS WHIRL TWO BOYS TO THEIR DEATHS.
LADS ARE AT MERCY OF RUSHING WATERS WHEN ROPE, ATTACHED TO SCOW, BREAKS NEAR FALLS.
YOUNGSTERS SHAKE HANDS WHEN FATE IS REALIZED.
FRANTIC CROWDS, HELPLESS ON BANK, WEEP...
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“The loss [of the Library of Alexandria] was incalculable. In some cases, we...”
– Carl Sagan, Cosmos: Who Speaks For Earth?
Consulted this quote for a thing I’m writing so might as well enshrine it permanently here.
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“Centuries and centuries of idealism have not failed to influence reality. In...”
– Jorge Luis Borges, Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius, translated by Alastair Reid.
Oh my god… Borges wrote House of Cosbys…
8 tags
October 2012
27 posts
8 tags
5 tags
halloween playlist
Does my Halloween playlist have TOO MUCH Tom Waits on it, or NOT ENOUGH? Does my Halloween playlist have TOO MANY numbers stations on it, or NOT ENOUGH?
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“It was a move without conscious effort; they all did it, to help them understand...”
– Ray Bradbury, The Martian Chronicles.
There’s an old map of New Jersey hanging in my living room and I keep getting up and walking to it, trying to match up the cities and towns with the accounts of destruction I’m reading as I obsessively reload Hurricane Sandy news feeds. It feels...
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