Presenting the first of a nine-issue series, SPACE BIGOTS: The Journeys of the Westboro Baptist Church… In Space.
By way of introduction: the Westboro Baptist Church is a thoroughly unpleasant Christian cult operating out of Topeka, Kansas. They rose to national prominence for their protests of the Matthew Shepard trial and funeral, and in recent years, their protests of the funerals for American soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The author asserts without fear of compromising objectivity that they are pretty much assholes of the first order, and that their unflattering treatment in the farce presented to you is way better than they deserve.
A note on language: the group’s trademark phrase is “God Hates Fags”, a theological assertion that neglects the fact that God does not exist. Or, if you prefer, that God would not hate anyone, even if he did exist. Regardless, a few homophobic slurs exist within the pages before you, in a manner keeping with the unpleasant nature of the protagonist(s). There is a trigger warning on one of the first pages, which serves both as light self-deprecation but also to make the reader aware that, seriously, if you are one for whom those words induce anxiety or post-traumatic stress of any kind, it is advised that you do not read further.
OLDMANS TWP. — Several reports of graffiti are being investigated by state police after members of the community found monkey faces painted on buildings and bridges across the rural township.
State police from the Woodstown Barracks said that many locations had been “tagged” with graffiti on Saturday night. The graffiti included the face of a monkey and sometimes, in addition to the monkey face, the numbers “215.”
Police said that the J.E. Berkowitz building on Straughens Mill Road, the PolyOne Distribution Center on Porcupine Road, the Logan Volunteer Fire Co. Firehouse and the Hudson United Methodist Church, both on Railroad Avenue, were defaced with the graffiti.
The new Pedricktown Bridge over Oldmans Creek, on Mill Street and the bridge over Beaver Creek on Straughens Mill Road, some private residential homes, vehicles, outbuildings, street signs and other public property such as electrical boxes were also painted with the monkey head image.
Oldmans Township Deputy Mayor Harry Moore said Wednesday that he was appalled by the graffiti.
“The people who did it obviously have no morals,” Moore said. “It’s a shame.”
Ten thousand capitalists march on the Trenton State House. “PROPERTY RIGHTS ARE *HUMAN* RIGHTS”, they cry. God wraps his big toe around the trigger.