'Zine Banal Nightmare

May 02

What happens when you append the words “Charlie Brown” to the end of the title of a Jack Chick tract?

The answer is, “Some of the best moments in television history that never happened.

• Allah Had No Son, Charlie Brown
• Are Roman Catholics Christians, Charlie Brown?
• Back From The Dead, Charlie Brown?
• Creator or Liar, Charlie Brown?
• Going Down, Charlie Brown?
• Gomez is Coming, Charlie Brown
• How To Get Rich, Charlie Brown
• It’s Your Life, Charlie Brown!
• This Was Your Life, Charlie Brown
• It’s All About You, Charlie Brown!
• No Fear, Charlie Brown?
• Born Wild, Charlie Brown!
• Trust Me, Charlie Brown
• Busted, Charlie Brown!
• Oops, Charlie Brown!
• Sorry, Charlie Brown
• It’s Not Your Fault, Charlie Brown
• Let’s Fly Away, Charlie Brown!
• Love The Jewish People, Charlie Brown
• Some Like it Hot, Charlie Brown
• Somebody Goofed, Charlie Brown
• Somebody Loves Me, Charlie Brown
• That’s Baphomet, Charlie Brown?
• Wassup, Charlie Brown?
• Where Did They Go, Charlie Brown?
• Who is He, Charlie Brown?
• Who Loves You, Charlie Brown?
• Why Is Mary Crying, Charlie Brown?
• Why Should I, Charlie Brown?
• You Have a Date, Charlie Brown!
• Your Big Moment, Charlie Brown
• Free at Last, Charlie Brown
• Kidnapped, Charlie Brown!
• Moving On Up, Charlie Brown!
• Payback, Charlie Brown
• That Crazy Guy, Charlie Brown!
• There Go The Dinosaurs, Charlie Brown
• Who Cares, Charlie Brown?
• Who’s Missing, Charlie Brown?
• Why No Revival, Charlie Brown?
• Who Murdered Clarice, Charlie Brown?

Sources here and here.

Feb 26

skavoovee:

WHAT IS THIS FROM

it’s me, circa 2024

(Source: yalldontwannasteptodis)

Feb 10

Recently uncovered transcript of a conversation with Grey, 4/13/2011

• jawsforjesus: GREY COME OUT HERE QUESTION
• PUT DOWN THE JERK LOTION YOUR FRIENDS NEED YOU
• JERK JERK JERK
• Grey: i hate you
• jawsforjesus: MMRF UMF SPURRRTTT GAW JEEZ ALL OVER MY SLACKS
• I CAN'T GO TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER'S MEETING WITH PROTEIN STAINS ON MY DRESS SLACKS
• STUPID IDIOT CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO CHANGE INTO MY JERKIN' PANTS BEFOREHAND????? GOD WHAT A WASTE I AM
• Grey: how do i block this
• google
• help me
• jawsforjesus: AW FER CHRISTMAS' SAKE I THINK I GOT A VIRUS ON MY LATEST PORN SAFARI. COULD THIS WEDNESDAY GET ANY WORSE???????
• WAS bbw_riding_sybian_explosive.mpg WORTH NOT BEING ABLE TO GET TO MY HOMEPAGE FOR????
• ANSWER - NO, IT WAS NOT NEARLY AS *EXPLOSIVE* AS ADVERTISED
• MORE LIKE bbw_riding_sybian_mildly_amused.mpg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• LAST TIME I TRUST YOU, INTERRACIALTUBE.NET!!!!!
• THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I TRIED SHEMALE PORN AND ACCIDENTALLY SENT A WORM TO MY WHOLE CONTACTS LIST!!!
• LESSON LEARNED; NEVER JERK IT STONED!
• GAWD WHAT A NIGHT THAT WAS. I HADN'T SMOKED SINCE COLLEGE BUT TED INVITED HIS WEIRD COWORKER OVER FOR THANKSGIVING AND *WELP* OUT POPPED A JOINT AND "OH SURE I MEAN I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING BUT WHAT THE HEY HEHEHEH YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE"
• Grey: .....
• jawsforjesus: TWO GULPS OF JOHNNY JAY-SMOKE LATER AND I WAS "UH SEE YOU AROUND GUYS" AND BACK HOME TO RUB MYSELF RAW

Jan 25

There’s a guy I know from middle school who just posted an Instagram of his handgun permit to Facebook. A few days after Columbine, on the bus ride to school, this same guy made a point of loudly asking me if was carrying a gun in my backpack.

Why am I even friends with this prick in the first place

Jan 24

christiannightmares:

The most and least Bible-minded cities in America (For an article and infographic, click image or here; For the heads up, thanks to Todd Rhoades; For a related video, click here http://christiannightmares.tumblr.com/post/4857797863/celebrate-freedom-a-christian-man-in-a-patriotic)

FUCK YES! PROVIDENCE RHODE ISLAND! LUCIFER IS LORD

Jan 23

[video]

Jan 12

I can’t believe the period in my life when I would get together with my friends and play Goldeneye 64 with big head mode and paintball cheats on and the period in my life when I started smoking weed didn’t overlap

Jan 11

I confess I can’t read Gabby Schulz’s work very often because, um, it’s a huge downer, but when it comes to unflinchingly honest portrayals of depression, he’s second-to-goddamn-none.

Dec 28

I’m going to hell

Dec 27

ohnojackchick:

traxploitation

Oh hey, I remember this episode of The Wire.