'Zine Banal Nightmare
What happens when you append the words “Charlie Brown” to the end of the title of a Jack Chick tract?
The answer is, “Some of the best moments in television history that never happened.
- Allah Had No Son, Charlie Brown
- Are Roman Catholics Christians, Charlie Brown?
- Back From The Dead, Charlie Brown?
- Creator or Liar, Charlie Brown?
- Going Down, Charlie Brown?
- Gomez is Coming, Charlie Brown
- How To Get Rich, Charlie Brown
- It’s Your Life, Charlie Brown!
- This Was Your Life, Charlie Brown
- It’s All About You, Charlie Brown!
- No Fear, Charlie Brown?
- Born Wild, Charlie Brown!
- Trust Me, Charlie Brown
- Busted, Charlie Brown!
- Oops, Charlie Brown!
- Sorry, Charlie Brown
- It’s Not Your Fault, Charlie Brown
- Let’s Fly Away, Charlie Brown!
- Love The Jewish People, Charlie Brown
- Some Like it Hot, Charlie Brown
- Somebody Goofed, Charlie Brown
- Somebody Loves Me, Charlie Brown
- That’s Baphomet, Charlie Brown?
- Wassup, Charlie Brown?
- Where Did They Go, Charlie Brown?
- Who is He, Charlie Brown?
- Who Loves You, Charlie Brown?
- Why Is Mary Crying, Charlie Brown?
- Why Should I, Charlie Brown?
- You Have a Date, Charlie Brown!
- Your Big Moment, Charlie Brown
- Free at Last, Charlie Brown
- Kidnapped, Charlie Brown!
- Moving On Up, Charlie Brown!
- Payback, Charlie Brown
- That Crazy Guy, Charlie Brown!
- There Go The Dinosaurs, Charlie Brown
- Who Cares, Charlie Brown?
- Who’s Missing, Charlie Brown?
- Why No Revival, Charlie Brown?
- Who Murdered Clarice, Charlie Brown?
Sources here and here.
WHAT IS THIS FROM
it’s me, circa 2024
Recently uncovered transcript of a conversation with Grey, 4/13/2011
GREY COME OUT HERE QUESTION
PUT DOWN THE JERK LOTION YOUR FRIENDS NEED YOU
JERK JERK JERK
i hate you
MMRF UMF SPURRRTTT GAW JEEZ ALL OVER MY SLACKS
I CAN'T GO TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER'S MEETING WITH PROTEIN STAINS ON MY DRESS SLACKS
STUPID IDIOT CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO CHANGE INTO MY JERKIN' PANTS BEFOREHAND????? GOD WHAT A WASTE I AM
how do i block this
AW FER CHRISTMAS' SAKE I THINK I GOT A VIRUS ON MY LATEST PORN SAFARI. COULD THIS WEDNESDAY GET ANY WORSE???????
WAS bbw_riding_sybian_explosive.mpg WORTH NOT BEING ABLE TO GET TO MY HOMEPAGE FOR????
ANSWER - NO, IT WAS NOT NEARLY AS *EXPLOSIVE* AS ADVERTISED
MORE LIKE bbw_riding_sybian_mildly_amused.mpg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LAST TIME I TRUST YOU, INTERRACIALTUBE.NET!!!!!
THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I TRIED SHEMALE PORN AND ACCIDENTALLY SENT A WORM TO MY WHOLE CONTACTS LIST!!!
LESSON LEARNED; NEVER JERK IT STONED!
GAWD WHAT A NIGHT THAT WAS. I HADN'T SMOKED SINCE COLLEGE BUT TED INVITED HIS WEIRD COWORKER OVER FOR THANKSGIVING AND *WELP* OUT POPPED A JOINT AND "OH SURE I MEAN I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING BUT WHAT THE HEY HEHEHEH YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE"
TWO GULPS OF JOHNNY JAY-SMOKE LATER AND I WAS "UH SEE YOU AROUND GUYS" AND BACK HOME TO RUB MYSELF RAW
There’s a guy I know from middle school who just posted an Instagram of his handgun permit to Facebook. A few days after Columbine, on the bus ride to school, this same guy made a point of loudly asking me if was carrying a gun in my backpack.
Why am I even friends with this prick in the first place
The most and least Bible-minded cities in America (For an article and infographic, click image or here; For the heads up, thanks to Todd Rhoades; For a related video, click here http://christiannightmares.tumblr.com/post/4857797863/celebrate-freedom-a-christian-man-in-a-patriotic)
FUCK YES! PROVIDENCE RHODE ISLAND! LUCIFER IS LORD
I can’t believe the period in my life when I would get together with my friends and play Goldeneye 64 with big head mode and paintball cheats on and the period in my life when I started smoking weed didn’t overlap
I confess I can’t read Gabby Schulz’s work very often because, um, it’s a huge downer, but when it comes to unflinchingly honest portrayals of depression, he’s second-to-goddamn-none.
I’m going to hell
Oh hey, I remember this episode of The Wire.